You are experiencing exactly what you want to experience

Some of you might look at the title of this blog and think "NO the hell I am not where I want to be." And that is only expected. Why? Because we don't have the cars we want, the relationships we want, the house, the job, the money, etc. We are experiencing emotional and physical pains. We are getting older and we are overweight. There is a whole host of things that seem so wrong with this moment right here that we can't help but think, "There has got to be more than this!"

And there is... but before we get to that, lets think on the title of this blog for a bit. You are right were you want to be, experiencing exactly what you want to be experiencing. In this moment, you are experiencing the very emotions you want to experience. HMMMMMM

Now the thought is, WHY would I want to experience this??? And that I can't answer for you. But the question I would ask you is if you don't want to experience it, why are you spending so much time thinking about it?

Our thoughts drive our lives. And the thoughts we think stimulate emotions within us. So if we spend more time thinking about the things that are stimulating emotions we "don't want to feel" - what are we going to feel???? You got it - BAD!!! And honestly, we are gonna keep experiencing the same thing until we get tired of it. So if you are thinking about the negative things happening in your life and how bad you feel about them, more negative things will show up so you can keep feeling bad. Seems counter productive but we do it to ourselves.

So yes, something as simple as a change of mind can change our experiences in life. Right now there is something happening in your life that you get joy from thinking about. Close your eyes and dwell on it for a few moments. How did that feel in your body? Did you experience warm fuzzy feelings? Did you find yourself smiling just a bit? Did something else pop into your mind that was joyful? With that memory and that feeling lingering, how do you feel now? Better??? (until you start thinking about what's going wrong again... stop that!)

Free will is the ability to experience whatever you want to experience in thought and emotion. Material expression/manifestation is the physical counterpart to extend that experience. God's gift is free will, freedom of expression and God will not limit our ability to have the types of experiences we want to have. So if what is showing up in your life are things that cause you to feel sorrow or pain, find out what's going on in your mind. Chances are your thoughts are focused on the sorrow and pain and inadvertently continuing to manifest situations that perpetuate those feelings.

So how do you change the cycle? Change what you spend your time thinking about. Think about the good that is in your life. Remind yourself of the blessings. Spend time with people that make you feel good. Do things for yourself that bring you joy. Pay attention to your mood, when it sinks into a negative space pay attention to what you are thinking in that moment and change it.

You really are in control of how you feel from moment to moment by the power of the thoughts that you hold in your mind. The thoughts that you hold in your mind will manifest as situations to perpetuate more of those feelings - whatever they are. And nothing can or will change your experience except you.

Own that power and transform your life.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Viktor Frankl from 'A Man's Search for Meaning'

Life: Abundantly

Life: Abundantly

“Most of you are much closer to a financial fortune [better body, romantic partnership, car, house, prosperous business, etc.] than you are even allowing yourself to purely desire, because, in the thought that it might come, you right away begin thinking of how disappointed you will be if it does not come. And so, in your lackful thought, you do not allow yourself to desire or to expect anything magnificent in terms of money; and that is the reason why, for the most part, you are living rather mediocre financial experiences.” ~ Esther and Jerry Hicks from Money, and the Law of Attraction

I remember having a daydream when I was in my early twenties. In this vision, God stood before me with a gift. It was a miraculous gift, because it was from God. It was just what I needed and wanted and perhaps was just the first of many. As God stood there holding this gift before me, I stood there with my arms at my side. Here it was, all I needed and wanted to have was right in front of my face. Then the thought ran through my mind “You just have to reach out and take it.”

Why, even in the vision, didn’t I reach out at that moment and take what was being freely given to me? I think the answer is both multifaceted and universal – I was afraid. What would be required of me if I accepted it? Was the gift really even for me? What if this wasn’t what I thought it would be? What if I couldn’t handle the gift or the responsibility I thought came with it? So instead of opening myself wholeheartedly to accepting this gift, like a child diving face first into the pile of gifts under the Christmas tree, I second guessed myself and God.

I think it’s clear; we experience mediocrity because we believe in our mediocrity. We don’t allow ourselves to believe that the abundance of the Universe is our birthright. And who are we to deny God the pleasure of pleasing us? Why do we feel undeserving of gifts freely given by our creator who loves us unconditionally? Why do we even feel bad for wanting to be extravagantly blessed?

The Prayer of Jabez tells the story of a man that goes to heaven. During a tour of heaven, the angel reluctantly shows him a building that holds mounds of gifts. When he requested it, the angel takes him to the gifts meant for him. The angel, in the end, tells him that these are all the gifts God had prepared for his children that we didn’t receive during our lifetime.

Have you ever had a person refuse a gift you were giving? What excuses did they give? That they didn’t deserve it? That it was too much? That they were too embarrassed? They didn’t know if they could take care of it? They don’t have faith in their own worth and worthiness to receive the gifts you give in love. And these are the same excuses we give for not receiving the blessings that God has prepared for us.

James 4 talks about the faith of Abraham. Abraham’s faith was counted unto him as righteousness. The fact that Abraham believed God’s promise to make him the Father of many nations, even in his old age he kept to that faith and not only was the promise fulfilled, he was right with God because of his faith.

So if we understand that God is capable of doing far more abundantly than we can think or ask and that God WANTS to do far more for us than we can think or ask, unbounded belief in and acceptance of these gifts, in whatever form they take, is counted as righteousness unto us as well.

So it is actually RIGHTEOUSNESS, not selfishness, to believe that we are BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE and to have the FAITH to accept that all the promises of God are Yea and AMEN!

What have you been promised? Release the full capability of your faith. Set aside your doubts and fears and open yourself to the unlimited resources of the universe there for your benefit and wellbeing. Take the steps of faith that are necessary for your to “reach out” and grab the gifts awaiting you from God – start writing that book, designing those clothes, singing those songs, etc. – and you will begin to learn what it means to be prosperous and blessed.

When Grandma Died

When I was born, my Grandmother told my mother she would live to see be graduate. She almost did.

Even though she was really my aunt, I called her Grandma. She basically raised my mother and took care of me as a baby. I was always close to her and never thought it was strange that I had two grandmothers on one side of my family. I didn’t find out the reality of our relation until I was older, but it never made a difference to me.

It was scary for me when she got older. I never thought about life without her in it. I really got nervous when she was moved into a nursing home because she couldn’t live on her own and started forgetting things and people. But there was something about our bond. So special that she never forgot my name or who I was dispite the Alzheimers. So special that each time I left from a visit with her, there was a knowledge that I would see her again. Even with her going back and forth to the hospital, I knew I would see her again. Until my senior year in high school.

Grandma was back in the hospital, not unlike times past. But there was something different. The moment I walked into that hospital room that night in January 1990 it hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew this would be the last time I would see her alive.

She laid there in that bed with her eyes closed. I don’t know what she knew or didn’t know about who was there to see her. But as my mother and step-father stood beside her bed talking to her, I sat in the corner of the room in stunned silence. I hadn’t experienced a sorrow in my life as deep as that. I didn’t want to believe or accept the finality I knew in those moments. This was my special lady.

It wasn’t until the room was clear that I felt as if I could go to her side. I took her hand and cried like I never had before. I don’t know how long I stood there before I could finally speak to her and tell he how much I loved her. And somehow, by the grace of God, when I could let her hand go I was able to let her go. I knew she would be ok. I don’t know how long it was before the tears stopped that night. But once they were dry, I didn’t cry again - until this moment 19 years later as I think back on that night.

While she didn’t physically see me graduate, I know she was there. I know she’s been cheering me on and watching out for me just like she always did. And I still have po-ke-no, Connect Four, I D-clare War, Dueces, afternoons watching “the stories,” telling her to wake up and her telling we she was just resting her eyes - I have those memories and I know that means I will always have her in my heart.

I do miss her still.

Develop High Energy Habits

A friend and I had a conversation about how much time we waste doing things that are not moving us in the direction of our goals. I, for one, am a Facebook Addict. There I said it. I will log-in in the morning and stay connected all day long. I refresh the page to see if any of my friends have said something I just have to read and know and I play the games and send virtual gifts to my friends all day long. Now while I do get work done, I tend to piddle away any down time I have on Facebook. Then later in the day I feel bad because I didn’t accomplish anything with my day. At night and on the weekends it’s television (while being logged into Facebook). I will spend hours watching TV, even when there is nothing on I want to see. I spend relatively little time focused on the things that will help me create the life I desire to have.

Not to say that there is anything wrong with Facebook or watching TV or whatever it is that keeps us from following our path consistently, we all need to take downtime and just relax and enjoy ourselves. But when our lives become overrun with these things and we feel discontented with the progress we are making in our lives and careers, we need to pause and take notice.
These are low energy habits. These things keep us from the high energy, productive and creative lives we long to live. If you follow the lives of highly successful people, most of their time is spent in the pursuit of their goals and less on time and energy draining distractions. These people have not only keyed in on what they want to accomplish in their lives, they are taking the inspired steps to make those things a reality. And that is the main difference between them and the rest of us.

The difference between high energy and low energy activities is how you feel afterwards. When you complete a high energy activity, while you may be tired physically depending on the level of exertion, you feel the joy of having accomplished something. You feel renewed and more alive. The knowledge that you have made another step towards your goals makes you more enthusiastic and you become a beacon of light to those around you. Low energy activities keep you feeling dissatisfied with your life, you become more lethargic and experience boredom. You can become increasingly depressed because your life seems to be at a standstill, you aren’t accomplishing anything worthwhile or making an impact on the community around you.
And what we all long for inside it to make an impact and an imprint on the minds and hearts of those around us. But as we spend countless hours each week engaged in activities that only serve to temporarily entertain us, we miss out on opportunities to burst through the self-imposed ceiling of success we think restrains us.

But I think I have to ask myself: What do I get out of pursuing low energy activities?

We don’t do anything that we don’t get something out of. Even if what we get is a “confirmation” of our own lack of self-worth, self-esteem or sense of deserving. Perhaps we are afraid that our success will put us out of touch with our friends or family. Maybe we believe that there is a limit to how much we can achieve and these activities hold us below that limit. Maybe our preconceived notions about successful people are negative and by not being as successful we think we are somehow better than them. Whatever the underlying motivation, there is something that has us delaying our success instead of tackling it full force. And most of these underlying beliefs are necessary or true to our lives at this point. When we ask this question, we empower ourselves to choose more productive, high energy activities that make us feel so much better about ourselves.

That’s how I came up with this blog. I made a decision that I was going to log off of Facebook and read some articles in Psychology Today Magazine. I finished reading an article and felt so much better about the way I had spent those 15 minutes. While I thought about how good that felt, I knew I needed to write about that good feeling. These words are a product of that introspection. And you know what, I feel even better having written this and can’t wait to see how I will be inspired to spend my time this afternoon.

So I encourage you to log off that website, put down that controller, turn off that TV and start by doing one thing that moves you towards your goal. Like the Lays potato chip slogan, I bet you can’t do just one.

Some tips for engaging more consistently in high energy activities:

1. Have a specific goal (or set of goals) in mind. Know what it is you want to accomplish. Think of what it will look like when the goal is accomplished. To get someplace, you have to know where you are going.
2. Write down your goals and have copies in places where you can look at them frequently. These will be reminders to you of what you want to accomplish. This will help you keep focused.
3. Notice when you are engaged in a low energy activity and choose to get back to achieving your goals. Many of us habitually engage in low energy activities and we start doing them by default, as if on autopilot. SNAP OUT OF IT. Post your goal reminders near the things that have become used for low energy activities; on the computer, TV, game system or refrigerator.
4. Get an accountability buddy. Have someone in your life (a friend, a life coach, a counselor) who will remind you of those things you want to accomplish and hold you to them.
5. Join/create a Mastermind group. You will not only inspire each other with your passion for what you want to accomplish, you will also have accountability buddies and another source of inspired ideas that could help get you moving in the right direction.
6. When you get an inspired idea, start working on it. When we start looking at what we want to accomplish we can ask ourselves “What is something I can do right now to move me in the direction of my goal?” When the ideas come, we have to get cracking.
   

The more you engage in high energy activities, the more this will become habitual in your life. Then you won’t be able to help achieving your dreams and desires and you will create a sense of success and prosperity in your life that will draw the physical manifestations of those feelings into your experience.

Click Next

Some of us may be old enough to remember playing a scratched record. Others have to refer to a scratched CD or DVD. What happens is still the same, when the needle (or laser) hit's the scratch, it jumps back to some previous point and replays the same music (or scene) over and over again. Some DVD and CD's just stop playing at all right at that point.

We actually do the same thing in life. As children we go along just fine. We play, experiment with and experience life until something traumatic happens to us. Maybe a parent always called us stupid, or we got whipped for things we didn't do or maybe never got picked for sports or were picked on by older siblings or bullies. Maybe we were physically, emotionally or sexually abused. Whatever the event (or sequence of events) they scratch our life. And that scratch makes us play an event over and over in our minds until it created a pattern in our lives.

Many of the patterns we experience in life are replays of an earlier trama that we experienced but had no control over. Later in life, we subconsciously recreate the events with a different cast of characters. Once we understand our creative power in life, we can press stop on that old story and create a new life.

We are the creative force behind our lives, but we forget this spiritual truth as we learn to play the victim and blame others for our disappointments. And while we didn't ask for the initial event, the replication of that event in our lives is something we can do something about. And it starts with taking responsibility; not for the initial events but for our role in replaying them now that we have a better understanding of who we are and the power God has gifted us with.

Taking responsibility is like finally waking up to the unconscious patterns we have allowed to replay in our lives and consciously learning to make a change. It allows us to see that what we fear isn't real anymore. It has already happened and doesn't have to continue if we are dedicated to writing a new chapter in our lives. Now we can pay attention to the decisions we make that lead us down the same path and the people we draw to us to play the perpetrators in our drama. Now we can say NO to playing the role of victim and take our rightful place as VICTORIOUS creations of God.

We can move the needle to the next song, forward to the next scene or change the music or movie entirely. It's our choice and being responsible for the choices you make now will open the door to abundance, happiness and success that you never thought possible.

So what will you do, continue replaying the drama or move powerfully forward. The choice is yours.

May the Face of Death Teach us to Live

This week has been burdened by death. For those in the DC area, we have lost 9 souls in a devastating subway train crash. In the midst of that, the nation mourned the loss of Ed McMahon. Yesterday afternoon, we were greeted with news of the passing of Farrah Faucett. And as I ended my work day yesterday evening, Michael Jackson suddenly bid us farewell.

In the wake of these terrible incidents, the news was flooded with stories of the lives these people lived. Stories about dreams they chased, goals they accomplished and lives they touched. And I started thinking about life, my life. What legacy did I want to leave behind? What did I hope people remembered most about me? What did I want to have accomplished when my time to pass on came?

And most importantly to me - What am I doing now to make these things reality?

Despite the troubles any of these people faced, or any negativity they were apart of, they made an attempt to truly live - To discover and express their passion and purpose in life while they were with us. In music, activism, acting, hosting, serving our country in war, doing hair or even fulfilling a goal of driving a subway train, they made their own indelible mark on the world or at least their small portion of it. And even those who were "taken away too soon," we will never forget how they touched us with their compassion, creativity, hope, joy and love.

And even in death, they teach us how to live. They show us to live each day like it's our last, achieve our hearts desires, leave no word unsaid and no deed undone, let go of any grudges and express our love and appreciation for those we care about while we have the opportunity. They teach us to live without regrets and to excel in spite of our fear to be the best we can be.

Then when we reach that final day, whether expected or unexpected, it will all be well with our souls.

Don't hold back your passion, purpose or promise. You are here to leave a mark on this world in your own unique way. Release your maximum potential, changing your life and showing those around you how brightly they too can shine if they just expose the light of their gifts, the light of their spirit. Then we are sure to hear these words in our souls, "Well done my good and faithful servant."

Ade And Melissa - SYTYCD

Ade surely has a ... um "following" just look BEHIND him....lol


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Story of a African King and His Friend

A story is told about a King in Africa who had a close friend that he
grew up with. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation
that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) by
remarking, "This is good, God knows best"

One day the King and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The
friend would load and prepare the guns for the King. The friend had
apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for
after taking the gun from his friend, the King fired it and his thumb
was blown off.

Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!
God knows best."

To which the King replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and ordered his
soldiers to put his friend into jail.

About a year later, the King was hunting in an area that he should
have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured the King and took him
to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a
stake and bound him to the stake.

As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the King
was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who
was less than whole. So after untying the King, they chased him out
of the village.

When the King reached his Palace, he was reminded of the event that
had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend.
He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend.

"You were right" the King said, "It was good that my thumb was blown
off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just
happened. "I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It
was bad for me to do this."

"No," his friend replied, "this is good…God knows best"

"What do you mean, `this is good'! How could it be good that I sent
my friend to jail for a year?"

The King's friend replied: "Remember that the Almighty knows best and
if I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you on that hunting
trip."

........

Do Not Judge Things or Events by their immediate Outcome!

Taking Responsibility

Life can be a bitch.

Not because it's really all that hard, but because most of us are never taught how to deal with and change the circumstances in our lives. We blame and become the victim of people and circumstances and most of us, if we really step back and take a look at the over all themes of our lives, go though the same things over and over again just with different people.

I am at that place where I am forced to look at the themes I have been dealing with and the feelings these situations triggered in me. One big one is Love. As much as I tell folks, as a life coach, to recognize that love comes from within first and radiates outward, I look for love outside myself to make me feel wanted and appreciated. Having never been taught otherwise, I know in my head the correct way to handle things but my heart is trained to habitually do things the wrong way.

So today's lesson is to take responsibility for loving me first. But to do that I have to take a good look at the anger, sadness and resentment inside me because I looked to others to love me for me. I have to face what I feel about myself and towards myself. And I have to take back the power I have given away to do the best I can for me and treat myself with the utmost respect and care.

My heart has always been my own responsibility and now I relish the idea of cherishing it and sharing it.

So I cut on the news this morning and see this and I am still wondering why it made me want to watch it over and over again.

The Weekend

This was the one of the best weekends I have had in a while. Mostly because it was mine. I took back my life and time from someone that I had been allow to spend time with me, even though his presence was draining my energy. So to finally have my time actually be MY TIME, felt good.

I did a lot of things different this weekend. I spent Friday night in the house. Saturday, I washed clothes in 2 hours at the laundrymat instead of spending 7+ hours at a friends house only to leave with damp clothes.

Saturday night I went to a cookout with someone that I don't normally hang out with and had a really good time. My buddy Barry is someone I have known for years but we fall in and out of contact. Well he invited me to a cookout and I decided to go. I cooked some Mac & Cheese and we hit it out to his buddies house. He also invited another friend of his, Joshua. I had met Joshua at Barry's birthday party a few months ago.

Now what I didn't know at first was that the host of the cookout was someone Barry had been seeing. But not the only person Barry was seeing. Actually after picking me up, he dropped off another date first! AIN'T THAT HOTT!!!

Well when we drop off date #1 to head to date #2's house, that's when I get the scoop. The guys name is Jeremy and he is in the military. I am told he is supposedly new to the life and a top but willing to try taking willie from Barry. (How many times have we heard that story in DC? But I don't know the guy so who am I to judge...)

On the way, I am introduced to XemVanAdams. A YouTube celebrity who gives a run down on popular gay terms. So as we ride down the road we are getting an G-english vocabulary lesson and learning how to use these terms in a sentence. I felt so educated and well informed... I think I may be bilingual now. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBZgUn4b0w0 (check it out)

Now Jeremy was a cool guy. I think I have seen him before. Probably saw his picture scroll by on some sex site online. He's got some music playing and he has pictures scrolling by on the television. He is still putting food on the grill and I start playing with his dog. We are the first people there. Barry makes us some drinks and we just chill. It's about an hour or so before other guests arrive. And another 4 hours before we eat - and I was HUNGRY.

But it's when the other guests arrive that things start getting interesting. Someone Barry used to date or screw or some combination thereof shows up and Barry asks "How do YOU know Jeremy?"

"From online"

Barry looks at me and Joshua, "Oh and he says he's new to this stuff." Of course the assumption is that if the met online, there has been some sexual interaction.

Then someone else comes in and Barry overhears something to make him think that this is another of Jeremy's "pieces." Barry clearly starts to get flustered. And even more so when the dude goes out to his car and comes back with a bag and proceeds up to the second floor of the townhouse as if he may be staying over - oh and did I mention that Barry has seen an empty condom wrapper in the back yard?

Barry was undone (and the drinks didn't help). But I was sitting there looking at Joshua saying "Wait, didn't Barry just drop of his other dude before we came over here?" In my mind, even if dude is inviting all of his conquests to the party Barry is playing him too so why be mad?

I go over to Barry and try to calm him down. I even tell him in his ear that he was only mad cause he was felt like that player (himself) just got played. And then the guy who went upstairs came back down with his bag in tow, after having changed his clothes. Then he said his good byes and left. I look at Barry and say "looky there, and you got all upset for nothing."

We finally start eating and the food is really good. The only problem was that as Jeremy cut into some of the ribs, they started bleeding. I was looking right at him at the time but no one else seemed to have noticed. So before he threw them away, I ran in found a pan and put them in the oven to finish cooking.

After playing some cards and getting tired of the scene, we left about 11pm and went to this club called Remingtons. It's normally a country western club but now it will have a hip-hop night. So we got to see the line dancing couples do their last few turns as the music went from Garth Brooks to Jay-Z. I haven't danced that much in a long time. And was glad to see a few other friends show up.

It was a good night. Well maybe not so good for Barry - his #2 quit that night.

God Grant Me The Serenity

So I decided to skip the gym and come straight home today. Well not straight home. I did need to stop by the grocery store for some things and it was supposed to storm. I didn't want to get caught in the rain waiting for the bus and walking to my apartment after that, so I left the office on time and headed for the subway.

When I get to the station, I am greeted by hundreds of disgruntled passengers on my platform. I have my headphones on and my book, so I don't worry about it.

--Get Here by Oleta Adams finishes playing where I left off this morning.--

I head down the escalator and get off behind a woman with a seeing eye dog. I don't know if she had just fed him or if the escalator or all the people spooked him, but he left a few turds in his wake as he exited the escalator... of course she didn't see them. So I just noticed, stepped over them as they rolled continuously at the bottom of the escalator and found me a place to stand on the platform.

Most people thought the shit on the escalator was funny. Some people even warned others. Someone wasn't paying attention, I bet they got funny looks all the way home.

--Take Me As I Am by Mary J. Blige plays--

The train finally comes. There is some switch problem somewhere on the line. The doors opened and no one got off. Most of the people on the platform were trying to get on. There was announcement "Please do not crowd the train. There is a train right behind this one." Most crowded on anyway, some people cursed and complained as the doors shut before they could get on. I just shifted to a more prominent position so I could catch the next train, which surely wouldn't have as many people on it as this one. I was right.

The next train came and I waited for people to crowd on first. Since there were less people on the train when it pulled in, there was room for me to get on and have a place to stand without bumping anyone. I took that spot and the doors closed.

--Time by Musiq Soulchild plays--

The train left the station and pulled partway through the tunnel and stopped abruptly, jostling us on the train. From the looks on peoples faces, things were going from bad to worse for them. I don't know for sure because I had my headphones on and only looked up briefly from the book I was reading. I was glad to have more time to read.

After about five minutes, the train continued its journey. People got off. More people got on. I was able to keep my spot in front of the opposite door and admire the cuties that entered the train. MMMMMMM Gooood! Was he looking at me? I bet he was. I just go back to reading my book.

The next few stops are non-eventful. Then we get to L'Enfant Plaza. More people crowd on the train. Many cuties pressed there way into the car. I wished I was pressed next to a few of them. Then this young boy and his girlfriend have to stand really close to me and bumped my book. I looked up. Said nothing, thought nothing. Shifted the angle of my book and kept reading.

--Save Me by Mary Mary fades out. Why by Anthony Hamilton comes on.

The next few stops the young boy is forced by the movement of the train to bump into my book continuously. Not enough to distract, just enough to notice. I noticed and kept on reading. He was enjoying picking fun at his girlfriend. And I thought it was funny too.

--Private Party by India Arie plays--

At Eastern Market, there is an announcement. "This train is now out of service. Everyone will have to exit here." This time, above the volume of my IPhone, I could hear the grumbles and complaints and cursing. I followed the crowd off og the train and walked around to the outside of the crowd. I didn't want to get caught in the press of people trying to get on the next train. People didn't look happy. "Oh, Well." I thought and went back to reading my book. The book was getting good.

The first train passed and I waited. People crowded onto the train as the announcement came on apologizing for the switch problem and saying that trains were backed up one behind another so the next one would be there as soon as this one left. The announcement was largely ignored.

The next train pulled in directly behind the one that pulled out. People pressed in and I found a place at the front of the car, right by the door. That was good since I only had one stop to go.

-- Be Without You by Mary J. Blige plays --

I got off at Potomac Avenue and it was raining. Not too hard though. So I pulled my hood over my head (my umbrella got broken over the weekend) and went to the store. I realized I left my shopping list on my desk at work. "Damn!" I said. Then "Oh well, I will just get what I can remember today and the rest tomorrow." And that's what I did.

-- Is She the Reason by Destiny's Child plays --

I got what I could remember, paid and carried my bags out the door. It was raining a little harder now. I pulled my hood on. I hoped I wouldn't have to wait to long for the bus. Less that five minutes later the bus pulled around the corner. I let the women board the bus first and follow. There was a seat that I was glad to get because my bag of groceries was heavy. I pulled my book back out and continued reading.

-- Overjoyed by Stevie Wonder plays --

My stop came up before I knew it and I was exiting. The rain had slowed up, thankfully. I walked up the hill and into my apartment, still feeling good despite all that happened.

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Any time during this evening, I could have gotten frustrated by events that I had no control over. But instead I settled into the moment and accepted the situation as it was and didn't waste my energy on things I could do nothing about. I did what I could and just let the rest unfold as it would. I controled the only thing I could - My reactions to the events.

So I am thankful that God is granting me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Amen...